They think they’re better than us!
By “they,” we mean everyone. All 49 other states, who regularly use New Jersey as a punchline and have contributed to our notorious ranking as the most hated state in America.
But if you live in New Jersey, you know this is all hogwash (not the hogwash used in pork roll production, the other hogwash).
Everybody here knows New Jersey is freaking awesome. So awesome, in fact, we’re pretty sure it’s the greatest state in the country. But we need proof.
Fueled by blind Jersey pride, we are setting out to systematically pit the Garden State against every other state — yes, all 49 — to explain exactly how and why we are simply the best. One battle per week, published each Monday. Stay tuned.
Last week, we took on Connecticut. Before that it was New York and Pennsylvania.
Now, we turn our attention to Delaware, which is barely a place.
Here’s 10 reasons why we’re better than Delaware.
1. Have you guys ever been to Delaware? Of course not!
2. Delaware is a state you drive through, not to. “Wayne’s World” had it right.
3. What’s Delaware’s claim to fame? Being “The First State”? It’s not a contest, nobody cares.
4. New Jersey’s Newark is bursting with rich history and culture — The Brick City, baby! Delaware’s Newark, which they pronounce incorrectly — it’s “N’ork,” duh — has a college that wishes it was Rutgers. What in the blue hell is a Blue Hen, anyway?
George Thorogood, left, and Jim Suhler of George Thorogood and the Destroyers performs during the final day of the 2015 Stagecoach Festival at the EmpireClub on Sunday, April 26, 2015, in Indio, Calif. (Photo by Paul A. Hebert/Invision/AP)Paul A. Hebert/Invision/AP
5. New Jersey has Bruce Springsteen. Delaware has ... wow, slim pickins, huh? George Thorogood? Cool...
6. Delaware tries to tout its beaches but let’s be real, it’s Jersey Shore all day, everyday. And Dewey Beach sounds disgusting.
7. One of Delaware’s signature dishes is “slippery dumplings.” Food shouldn’t be slippery. What’s going on in those kitchens, Delaware?!
8. What did Delaware? Who cares? Who is Dela? Somebody get her a New Jersey.
9. Delaware is such a faceless, vanilla place it’s not even fun to mock. At least New Jersey has things worth hating (even though we know we’re perfect).
10. Joe Biden.
President Joe Biden. (AP Photo/Andrew Harnik)
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Bobby Olivier may be reached at bolivier@njadvancemedia.com. Follow him on Twitter @BobbyOlivier and Facebook.
Jeremy Schneider may be reached at jschneider@njadvancemedia.com and followed on Twitter at @J_Schneider and on Instagram at @JeremyIsHungryAgain.
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